Ended up with one at 3/4" and the left one at 11/16" (but should become 3/4" in the next few days once it loosens up, she said). Was done by Pam at Obscurities in Dallas, a very nice and friendly lady.
The cutting hurt and felt like electrical zapping and at one point I could hear her cutting *eww*. But she did a great job and it wasn't so bad. I could stand it again if I needed to.
No where near as bad as getting my nipples pierced.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
ear enlargment
Today Scott is going to take me down to Obscurities to get my stretched earlobes enlarged by scalpel.
Am a little scared. *eep*
Am a little scared. *eep*
Monday, September 21, 2009
Alan Ross Pride Parade 2009, Dallas, TX
Yesterday was my first time attending a LGBT Pride event. I'd never lived in a place that had one before.
I supported the National Leather Association by being part of their float (walking a thin moral line for me, as a vegan who supports the Leather Lifestyle but not the fabric leather).
It was a good turn out and a lot of time out in the not-as-bad-as-it-could-be (by a long shot) Dallas heat.
The crowd was great: many, many people (thousands?) and all in pretty good cheer. And about 8-9 protesters lol. The ratio was heartwarming.
We tossed out candy and beads while walkers passed out cups and flyers.
All in all it was a good day with NLA.
The only minor unpleasantries were:
Having to hear some of the cattiness and meanness of some of the members talking, to include some focused on veg*ns. But they were folks who were being catty about other people different from them, in general.
Being a dumbass and overdoing the standing and walking. I can't do that much of those two things, and this was one of the days that I totally screwed myself on them. I *did* think ahead and brought prescription ibuprofen and took some after a while. I think it's the only reason I got home okay and can walk today so well. As hard as walking was by the time I went home yesterday (I had to stop for groceries and little-old-ladied my way around Whole Foods at .5/mph), the swelling today is not horrible and I'm getting around okay. Still feel it, but it looks like just taking it easy for a couple days will be all I need.
After yesterdays's experience at the grocery (almost didn't make it from my car to the store at first) and how bad I know today could've been, I think I'm going to talk to the VA some more about my feet and knees. I will Not let them operate again, especially not starting operations on my knees (5 ops on my feet were enough, thanks), but I would like to discuss other options and possibly getting an assistive device for the days I need one. They are rare, but they are random (They aren't always caused by over-doing... sometimes I just take a few steps and Bam!) and when I need one I need one. As much as I cringe at the word and thought, a walker would've been heaven sent at the end of yesterday to help me walk to do my shopping. Ugh.
In other news, the potential slave hasn't been good about keeping up on his daily updates... I'm at the point now of "giving him enough rope to hang himself with".
I'm in a pretty good mood today.
I supported the National Leather Association by being part of their float (walking a thin moral line for me, as a vegan who supports the Leather Lifestyle but not the fabric leather).
It was a good turn out and a lot of time out in the not-as-bad-as-it-could-be (by a long shot) Dallas heat.
The crowd was great: many, many people (thousands?) and all in pretty good cheer. And about 8-9 protesters lol. The ratio was heartwarming.
We tossed out candy and beads while walkers passed out cups and flyers.
All in all it was a good day with NLA.
The only minor unpleasantries were:
Having to hear some of the cattiness and meanness of some of the members talking, to include some focused on veg*ns. But they were folks who were being catty about other people different from them, in general.
Being a dumbass and overdoing the standing and walking. I can't do that much of those two things, and this was one of the days that I totally screwed myself on them. I *did* think ahead and brought prescription ibuprofen and took some after a while. I think it's the only reason I got home okay and can walk today so well. As hard as walking was by the time I went home yesterday (I had to stop for groceries and little-old-ladied my way around Whole Foods at .5/mph), the swelling today is not horrible and I'm getting around okay. Still feel it, but it looks like just taking it easy for a couple days will be all I need.
After yesterdays's experience at the grocery (almost didn't make it from my car to the store at first) and how bad I know today could've been, I think I'm going to talk to the VA some more about my feet and knees. I will Not let them operate again, especially not starting operations on my knees (5 ops on my feet were enough, thanks), but I would like to discuss other options and possibly getting an assistive device for the days I need one. They are rare, but they are random (They aren't always caused by over-doing... sometimes I just take a few steps and Bam!) and when I need one I need one. As much as I cringe at the word and thought, a walker would've been heaven sent at the end of yesterday to help me walk to do my shopping. Ugh.
In other news, the potential slave hasn't been good about keeping up on his daily updates... I'm at the point now of "giving him enough rope to hang himself with".
I'm in a pretty good mood today.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Bike, woohoo!
I bought my first non-department store bike today and brought it home. I had to make it in two payments, one last week and one today.
I'd wondered why the bikes were so much more expensive, and when I got to test ride it last weekend I finally knew... it is so light and gliding, so much smoother shifting and fits so much better. Worth every penny.
I ended up getting a Giant Rapid 2010 model... a "commuter" road bike style, 24 speed and I also bought a cushier seat. :D Perfect for riding around White Rock Lake and running to the store and such locally.
I also bought, of course, the odds and ends I needed with it: new helmet, bike lock, car carrier.
Took it out for my first real ride on it around the lake, went about 1/3 to 1/2 of the way and back. I need to adjust the seat a little more for using my regular biking shoes (I was in different shoes when I bought it), and want to buy a rear rack for it so I can use my panniers later (but that's for next month or so).
It was really nice to be back out bicycling.
On other news, I've lost about 4 pounds this week and met a potential tpe slave.
Good start of the month.
I'd wondered why the bikes were so much more expensive, and when I got to test ride it last weekend I finally knew... it is so light and gliding, so much smoother shifting and fits so much better. Worth every penny.
I ended up getting a Giant Rapid 2010 model... a "commuter" road bike style, 24 speed and I also bought a cushier seat. :D Perfect for riding around White Rock Lake and running to the store and such locally.
I also bought, of course, the odds and ends I needed with it: new helmet, bike lock, car carrier.
Took it out for my first real ride on it around the lake, went about 1/3 to 1/2 of the way and back. I need to adjust the seat a little more for using my regular biking shoes (I was in different shoes when I bought it), and want to buy a rear rack for it so I can use my panniers later (but that's for next month or so).
It was really nice to be back out bicycling.
On other news, I've lost about 4 pounds this week and met a potential tpe slave.
Good start of the month.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Packers arrived
Am waiting on Chael's deployment date. He'll be leaving soon for a year. In the meantime, we're spending oodles of time together and making plans for after he's back.
I have a meditation weekend coming up for Kriya yoga. I need the reminder of the asana sequence as I've forgotten due to falling out of the habit.
The two packers I ordered arrived today. I like the smaller one better... the 6" one is too long and flopsy, feels and looks silly to me. The 3.5-4" one I'm wearing right now seems right for a "limp dick". Not something I'll wear often, but great for genderfucking fun. Next month I think I'll order that STP from djknowsdick.com. These two are made out of cyberskin material and feel fairly correct in texture and squish (especially the shorter one, the longer is a bit floppy and squishy, as mentioned), but are a little too light in weight for realism. Not bad for fun, though.
I'm so tired today, ugh.
I have a meditation weekend coming up for Kriya yoga. I need the reminder of the asana sequence as I've forgotten due to falling out of the habit.
The two packers I ordered arrived today. I like the smaller one better... the 6" one is too long and flopsy, feels and looks silly to me. The 3.5-4" one I'm wearing right now seems right for a "limp dick". Not something I'll wear often, but great for genderfucking fun. Next month I think I'll order that STP from djknowsdick.com. These two are made out of cyberskin material and feel fairly correct in texture and squish (especially the shorter one, the longer is a bit floppy and squishy, as mentioned), but are a little too light in weight for realism. Not bad for fun, though.
I'm so tired today, ugh.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Poly-snobbery
"Polyamory" is not only "polyfidelity". "Sex" is only rarely "just sex".
I'm becoming sick to death of the mono-normist poly-snobbery where polyamory is solely defined as polyfidelity, tied almost always with the statement that X example isn't poly because poly is about LOVE not "just sex".
Example X is almost always any form of poly relationship that is not multi-person-monogamous, aka "polyfidelic".
One (or more) person in the group wants to date/sleep with others, in any way or arrangement? "That's not POLY!! POLY is about love. Poly = many!!!! Amory = love!!!! That's a (giving a dirty tone) swinging/open."
Of course, always avoiding that the definition of amor/love includes both the meanings of non-sexual and sexual caring/attraction. Of course, always avoiding that example X rarely, rarely, rarely, is about one (or more) parties wanting/having "just sex"... 99.9% of the time it's about them wanting to have other relationships, including the sexual aspects of them. And, of course, always avoiding that even when "sex is just sex" it's rarely "just sex".
It's really about a knee-jerk, sex-is-bad/dirty, we're-really-just-the-same-as-mono-people act of snobbery and insecurity.
Now, don't misunderstand me. I don't have any problem at all with those who prefer and choose polyfidelic relationships. Not in the slightest, I'm not running down that relationship choice.
My issue is taking a valid relationship choice of a TYPE of polyamory and holding it up as the standard and definer for ALL types of poly relationships.
Get over your mono-normist mindset and your snobbery. Poly isn't just closed poly, that's just one form of loving many.
I'm becoming sick to death of the mono-normist poly-snobbery where polyamory is solely defined as polyfidelity, tied almost always with the statement that X example isn't poly because poly is about LOVE not "just sex".
Example X is almost always any form of poly relationship that is not multi-person-monogamous, aka "polyfidelic".
One (or more) person in the group wants to date/sleep with others, in any way or arrangement? "That's not POLY!! POLY is about love. Poly = many!!!! Amory = love!!!! That's a (giving a dirty tone) swinging/open."
Of course, always avoiding that the definition of amor/love includes both the meanings of non-sexual and sexual caring/attraction. Of course, always avoiding that example X rarely, rarely, rarely, is about one (or more) parties wanting/having "just sex"... 99.9% of the time it's about them wanting to have other relationships, including the sexual aspects of them. And, of course, always avoiding that even when "sex is just sex" it's rarely "just sex".
It's really about a knee-jerk, sex-is-bad/dirty, we're-really-just-the-same-as-mono-people act of snobbery and insecurity.
Now, don't misunderstand me. I don't have any problem at all with those who prefer and choose polyfidelic relationships. Not in the slightest, I'm not running down that relationship choice.
My issue is taking a valid relationship choice of a TYPE of polyamory and holding it up as the standard and definer for ALL types of poly relationships.
Get over your mono-normist mindset and your snobbery. Poly isn't just closed poly, that's just one form of loving many.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Birthday bash
Just got back late last night from my trip to Florida. I went out to visit my friends MsKitty and BoiJen for MsKitty's birthday party. (Names of those I don't know want mentioned are going to be left out)
I was a bit nervous but excited to be spending a weekend with them as Jen and I knew one another from in-common web forums and I'd had the joy of meeting them both last year at SouthEast LeatherFest. So we'd spent time and I knew I liked them loads but this was the first time we'd be hanging out so much at once (they let me stay at their home).
By the end of the weekend I was lamenting that we lived so very far way... it felt like I should just be living a few blocks over or something, it was so comfortable to hang out with them. Old friends feeling.
The weekend was so fun between the outings and the quiet home times spent chatting or watching silly videos. I got to meet some of their local friends and a couple in particular were very sweet people.
As to outings, we went grocery shopping together on the way back to their place and chatted then later went out to a local dungeon and ended up staying late sitting around drinking a little and exchanging stories and jokes with the group. Then, coming home we did something I love: they introduced me to their habit of listening to Possum Kingdom as they drove home around the lake way and we all sang along together.
Saturday evening was Kitty's birthday celebration and we stayed up forever. There was a yummy dinner out with a bunch of galfriends, a women's leather meeting with a discussion on service (and I found myself thinking longingly of the domestic I had to leave behind in Georgia and also fondly of how I wish my spouse could hear the talk because it would've touched him so well). After gifts were exchanged Kitty and Jen began to play for MsKitty's birthday beating and I ended up co-topping... it'd been so long since I'd gotten to pull a girl's hair, growr.
We then spent some talking time back at their house with another friend and did a little "pre-drinking" before going out to the bar for the night. That friend decided to go home but another chose to join us at the bar and spent the rest of the evening with us. We were a rowdy group of 4 out on the town lol.
People watching at the bar was entertaining and there was live music. We all kept cracking up at the other patrons, each other, and some bizarre television shows on the bigscreen. One guy came up to me and kissed my hand while kneeling in front of me, then stood and told me I had great energy and that he was a wizard. As said, the crowd was great entertainment, that's one example only.
As it got on towards 4 or 5am we went back to the friend's place on the beach and talked til sunrise got close... then we all padded down to the beach in the dark and she, Kitty and I skinny-dipped while Jen chilled on the beach. Personal talk in salty water, the waves colored by the sunrise, against naked skin as we paddled and floated... a calm and lovely time to start the end of our night.
We one by one got out of the water and the four of us sat close on two towels and watched the sunrise further -and were thrilled to see the black shapes of dolphins jumping and splashing in the near distance. It was a perfect end to the night... close to friends, the sky and water changing colors and dolphins playing.
We said our goodbyes shortly after to the friend and made our way back to MsKitty's and BoiJen's and I kept falling asleep in the car lol.
After some sleep we had a tastey brunch made by the boi and some more visiting, then it was time for me to head home.
I'm so glad they invited me and welcomed me into their home. I had a very fun and relaxing time, both. I just wish we all lived closer.
I got to watch Jen make a nylon whip as she talked to me about the whys and hows. She's selling them and I plan to buy one shortly off them. Once she has her website up I'll pimp it some for her if she's fine by that.
Such a good time...
I was a bit nervous but excited to be spending a weekend with them as Jen and I knew one another from in-common web forums and I'd had the joy of meeting them both last year at SouthEast LeatherFest. So we'd spent time and I knew I liked them loads but this was the first time we'd be hanging out so much at once (they let me stay at their home).
By the end of the weekend I was lamenting that we lived so very far way... it felt like I should just be living a few blocks over or something, it was so comfortable to hang out with them. Old friends feeling.
The weekend was so fun between the outings and the quiet home times spent chatting or watching silly videos. I got to meet some of their local friends and a couple in particular were very sweet people.
As to outings, we went grocery shopping together on the way back to their place and chatted then later went out to a local dungeon and ended up staying late sitting around drinking a little and exchanging stories and jokes with the group. Then, coming home we did something I love: they introduced me to their habit of listening to Possum Kingdom as they drove home around the lake way and we all sang along together.
Saturday evening was Kitty's birthday celebration and we stayed up forever. There was a yummy dinner out with a bunch of galfriends, a women's leather meeting with a discussion on service (and I found myself thinking longingly of the domestic I had to leave behind in Georgia and also fondly of how I wish my spouse could hear the talk because it would've touched him so well). After gifts were exchanged Kitty and Jen began to play for MsKitty's birthday beating and I ended up co-topping... it'd been so long since I'd gotten to pull a girl's hair, growr.
We then spent some talking time back at their house with another friend and did a little "pre-drinking" before going out to the bar for the night. That friend decided to go home but another chose to join us at the bar and spent the rest of the evening with us. We were a rowdy group of 4 out on the town lol.
People watching at the bar was entertaining and there was live music. We all kept cracking up at the other patrons, each other, and some bizarre television shows on the bigscreen. One guy came up to me and kissed my hand while kneeling in front of me, then stood and told me I had great energy and that he was a wizard. As said, the crowd was great entertainment, that's one example only.
As it got on towards 4 or 5am we went back to the friend's place on the beach and talked til sunrise got close... then we all padded down to the beach in the dark and she, Kitty and I skinny-dipped while Jen chilled on the beach. Personal talk in salty water, the waves colored by the sunrise, against naked skin as we paddled and floated... a calm and lovely time to start the end of our night.
We one by one got out of the water and the four of us sat close on two towels and watched the sunrise further -and were thrilled to see the black shapes of dolphins jumping and splashing in the near distance. It was a perfect end to the night... close to friends, the sky and water changing colors and dolphins playing.
We said our goodbyes shortly after to the friend and made our way back to MsKitty's and BoiJen's and I kept falling asleep in the car lol.
After some sleep we had a tastey brunch made by the boi and some more visiting, then it was time for me to head home.
I'm so glad they invited me and welcomed me into their home. I had a very fun and relaxing time, both. I just wish we all lived closer.
I got to watch Jen make a nylon whip as she talked to me about the whys and hows. She's selling them and I plan to buy one shortly off them. Once she has her website up I'll pimp it some for her if she's fine by that.
Such a good time...
Monday, June 15, 2009
Courses and saving no money
Chael is talking about buying me a correspondence course for my pleasure. I'm looking over three main options and we'll see if/what I choose (web page design, locksmithing, and astrology lol). Meanwhile, I'm learning to knit and practicing my algebra for home entertainment.
I'm putting no money in savings these past few and upcoming months. I've a cushion built up there that isn't being touched, but all my cash otherwise has been being put into my travel aspirations. Right now I'm "booked" up through September with trips to family, to friends, BDSM events, and spending time with Chael before he deploys.
In between traveling, I'm trying to be more out of the house here and getting social. I'm slowly establishing myself as part of the communities here and meeting nice folks.
I desperately need to go grocery shopping today. *sigh*
I'm putting no money in savings these past few and upcoming months. I've a cushion built up there that isn't being touched, but all my cash otherwise has been being put into my travel aspirations. Right now I'm "booked" up through September with trips to family, to friends, BDSM events, and spending time with Chael before he deploys.
In between traveling, I'm trying to be more out of the house here and getting social. I'm slowly establishing myself as part of the communities here and meeting nice folks.
I desperately need to go grocery shopping today. *sigh*
Monday, June 8, 2009
Cats and nomadic aspirations
I love him but he gets in my way. Both literally, of course, and figuratively. I'm speaking of Jonesy, my cat.
I wish to be nomadic for a while, no set home just traveling at will, couchsurfing, hosteling, camping, etc as I see the US and maybe more of the world. I've loved the short tastes I've gotten of this, such as when backpacking Europe, and want to jump into it as a lifestyle for at least a few months or year... whatever, until I decide to stop.
But there's Jonesy... my loveable little fluffbutt. He's so affectionate and I don't know what to do with him. I can't leave him at my mom's: they not only don't want to watch my cat but also their pets are indoor-outdoor pets because they live far in the country. Jonesy can't be allowed to do that as he's never learned about the outdoors, being purely indoor raised for 12 year almost.
So, I may be in the weird position of renting a small apartment for my cat. Not being truly nomadic, because I don't want him to be lonely, but rather havinga very cheap, small place for him and a minimum of my stuff and putting all my free cash into traveling out of this home-base.
But where for the apartment? Dallas is ideal, except the costs. Copperas Cove where Chael lives has some very cheap and perfect apartments, but it is out in the middle of nowhere and I'd have to take Jonesy away from his regular vet -who is also who I board him with when I'm gone more than a couple-three days, so that instills fresh complications.
I love him so much, I have to do what is best for him in this goal. I won't change thigns in such a way as to risk his health and happiness. I believe in pets as friends and that we've a responsibility to any we take on; he's better than family, he's chosen.
So I may be getting a Dallas apartment for my cat. I'll just try and find a small, cheap but clean one and downsize my home. That'll keep my social contacts here possible, too, hopefully.
But I'm really interested in traveling some more again, seeing new things again, exploring my world again!
I wish to be nomadic for a while, no set home just traveling at will, couchsurfing, hosteling, camping, etc as I see the US and maybe more of the world. I've loved the short tastes I've gotten of this, such as when backpacking Europe, and want to jump into it as a lifestyle for at least a few months or year... whatever, until I decide to stop.
But there's Jonesy... my loveable little fluffbutt. He's so affectionate and I don't know what to do with him. I can't leave him at my mom's: they not only don't want to watch my cat but also their pets are indoor-outdoor pets because they live far in the country. Jonesy can't be allowed to do that as he's never learned about the outdoors, being purely indoor raised for 12 year almost.
So, I may be in the weird position of renting a small apartment for my cat. Not being truly nomadic, because I don't want him to be lonely, but rather havinga very cheap, small place for him and a minimum of my stuff and putting all my free cash into traveling out of this home-base.
But where for the apartment? Dallas is ideal, except the costs. Copperas Cove where Chael lives has some very cheap and perfect apartments, but it is out in the middle of nowhere and I'd have to take Jonesy away from his regular vet -who is also who I board him with when I'm gone more than a couple-three days, so that instills fresh complications.
I love him so much, I have to do what is best for him in this goal. I won't change thigns in such a way as to risk his health and happiness. I believe in pets as friends and that we've a responsibility to any we take on; he's better than family, he's chosen.
So I may be getting a Dallas apartment for my cat. I'll just try and find a small, cheap but clean one and downsize my home. That'll keep my social contacts here possible, too, hopefully.
But I'm really interested in traveling some more again, seeing new things again, exploring my world again!
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Munch tonight
Was good to get back out and see some local faces. Had some relaxed conversation -to include geeking out on about WoW- and just enjoyed a night out of the house with friendly folks.
Am going to miss a couple events this weekend I wanted to go to, but told Chael I'd come down to visit... from here til deployment getting together is going to be a bit hit and miss, so I don't want to bail on him when we know we can visit.
Anyhow, next week is going to be socially busy. I have 2 munches, a party, and a few days of helping setup for that party. And in the meantime I must go and get myself a costume put together for said party. I'm thinking I'll be a water nymph, but having settled for sure... Koneko clued me into a magic/costume/etc shop in Ft. Worth and I googled it tonight, I'll likely go tomorrow and see what I can find.
I'm leaning towards attending FloatingWorld even though it's close to deployment and may overlap with Chael's block leave a little. I ran it passed him and he didn't seem too put out by the idea of me going, so I may. Leaning that way but haven't decided... must eye finances and timeframe a leetle more before sure one way or the other.
Grammar and spelling are giving me a hard time right now, it's too late at night... beddy by.
Am going to miss a couple events this weekend I wanted to go to, but told Chael I'd come down to visit... from here til deployment getting together is going to be a bit hit and miss, so I don't want to bail on him when we know we can visit.
Anyhow, next week is going to be socially busy. I have 2 munches, a party, and a few days of helping setup for that party. And in the meantime I must go and get myself a costume put together for said party. I'm thinking I'll be a water nymph, but having settled for sure... Koneko clued me into a magic/costume/etc shop in Ft. Worth and I googled it tonight, I'll likely go tomorrow and see what I can find.
I'm leaning towards attending FloatingWorld even though it's close to deployment and may overlap with Chael's block leave a little. I ran it passed him and he didn't seem too put out by the idea of me going, so I may. Leaning that way but haven't decided... must eye finances and timeframe a leetle more before sure one way or the other.
Grammar and spelling are giving me a hard time right now, it's too late at night... beddy by.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
Agape & Eros
Agape first to get it out of the way:
I've been blessed with a lot of love in my life. People I have loved, those who have loved me, and a precious number with who it was mutual.
There are those I've known and loved only a short while and those that it's been 15 years of loving. People who are better than family because they are chosen. People I'd give so much for and who I crave to be near... to take care of and be taken care of.
Not all of those are mutual, and that's okay. Loving someone even one-way is worth it, so long as one isn't hurtful to themselves over it. I'm careful not to cross that line and to take care of me, too, but otherwise I enjoy it.
For those I love and am not with, I miss you. Some of you know who you are, some of you don't. I hope life is treating you well.
For those near or soon to be, I look forward to the special you-ness that draws me to care so and being in your presence again.
For that one I recently seem to have lost track of indefinitely, I hope it's because your life is so full and happy right now that you just have no time. I hope you found that person you need and have the life you deserve, you're a good boy.
I'm thankful to whatever powers that be that I've been so lucky to have these experiences. To feel this way and to be treated so by such wonderful people in this life.
Eros:
I need fucked. My libido is such that I feel I could die from it. I need dominated, forced, hurt. I need the smell and taste of a male near me, over me... the feel of him in me. Pull my hair, slap my face, talk dirty to me. Push me to come again and again til I cry and want to stop. Leave me tender and raw the next day and exhausted from the efforts. Grip my arms til they bruise, bite my lips and neck and pussy. Shove me to my knees and make me gag on cock.
Wear me out and make this craving ease. Overpower me and let me just be animal for a while together with you.
Grrrrrrr. I've no one here right now to have this taken out on me by.
I've been blessed with a lot of love in my life. People I have loved, those who have loved me, and a precious number with who it was mutual.
There are those I've known and loved only a short while and those that it's been 15 years of loving. People who are better than family because they are chosen. People I'd give so much for and who I crave to be near... to take care of and be taken care of.
Not all of those are mutual, and that's okay. Loving someone even one-way is worth it, so long as one isn't hurtful to themselves over it. I'm careful not to cross that line and to take care of me, too, but otherwise I enjoy it.
For those I love and am not with, I miss you. Some of you know who you are, some of you don't. I hope life is treating you well.
For those near or soon to be, I look forward to the special you-ness that draws me to care so and being in your presence again.
For that one I recently seem to have lost track of indefinitely, I hope it's because your life is so full and happy right now that you just have no time. I hope you found that person you need and have the life you deserve, you're a good boy.
I'm thankful to whatever powers that be that I've been so lucky to have these experiences. To feel this way and to be treated so by such wonderful people in this life.
Eros:
I need fucked. My libido is such that I feel I could die from it. I need dominated, forced, hurt. I need the smell and taste of a male near me, over me... the feel of him in me. Pull my hair, slap my face, talk dirty to me. Push me to come again and again til I cry and want to stop. Leave me tender and raw the next day and exhausted from the efforts. Grip my arms til they bruise, bite my lips and neck and pussy. Shove me to my knees and make me gag on cock.
Wear me out and make this craving ease. Overpower me and let me just be animal for a while together with you.
Grrrrrrr. I've no one here right now to have this taken out on me by.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Travel
I miss traveling.
I mean *real* travel, not this bouncing around I do in the US to places I've been and to see friends. I love visiting friends and revisiting great places, but it doesn't feed my soul the way true travel -new sites and sights- gives me does.
I Need to go new places, touch old things, feel the old life in the stone and dirt and steel of all the people who have passed through... or to wander off into nature to places where someone may or may not have ever have been before.
I miss it in an aching way when I go too long without it.
I still have 7 states to see. I won't get the chance this summer due to visiting folks (not that I'm bitching, again I love to see friends!). Maybe in spring?
New countries right now are right out. Short of another cruise soon I'll not see any more of the nearby countries and my lease keeps me from picking up and moving back to Europe or to Thailand to start my language classes there early.
It was wonderful to get back to H'Port, NY before and after Camp for a bit. Nice to see my family, but that's not the main reason. It didn't satisfy any of my wanderlust, but it did return me to one of my favorite places.
Some areas of the planet just make me feel good. Something about the energy of them... regardless of their physical beauty or human options... the Finger Lakes Region of NY, London, and Prague.
I'm quite sickly enamored with these three places. I go there and feel more alive, more whole, more blissful than anywhere else and for no clear reason. Now, each is wonderful in their own obvious way but that isn't, I repeat again "isn't", why.
Venice is beautiful, as much and more than any movie or picture make it seem. It has a richness and quaintness, both, that is endearing... but it doesn't do it to me. Heidelberg and Mannheim will be places I love and remember intensely but they don't cause that. Alaska may be one of the most awe-inspiring places I've ever been, landscape-wise... but I don't feel giddy with no basis while there.
I could go on but I've overstated my point already. I've been great places, I want and need to go more great places, and some places are greater than they have any clear cause to be and I'm blessed to get to return now and then.
But damn am I in category Two desire mode right now. Must. Go. Somewhere. New.
Maybe in September I could go to the Dakotas. Doubt it. Damn I have to wait to see things til next year.
My lease is up in February... maybe I'll move somewhere interesting then. Chael will be deployed until sometime between August 2010 and January 2011. Depending, that may be some time in Spain or Scotland for me... maybe get a little apt. back in Mannheim, visit Sandra and start hopping all over Eastern Europe this time instead of Western.
I gotta go somewhere.
Back to refreshing my German and working on my Spanish & Thai. But which Spanish to focus on? Latin or Castillian? And should I settle with only being able to read and understand Thai or should I fork out the cash to practice my speech now instead of waiting a few years when I can go there to get tutoring?
I can't believe I haven't learned some form of Spanish yet. A bit of each but no fluency yet. It's a darn easy language. Just sad.
I admit it, I'm bad at latin-based languages. Spent 4 years in French and can't speak any more than I went in with. Germanic languages -and even the Thai!- go faster by far for me. What the hell? Totally backwards.
I'm rambling.
Just another quiet night with me and my cat hanging out in the house.
I mean *real* travel, not this bouncing around I do in the US to places I've been and to see friends. I love visiting friends and revisiting great places, but it doesn't feed my soul the way true travel -new sites and sights- gives me does.
I Need to go new places, touch old things, feel the old life in the stone and dirt and steel of all the people who have passed through... or to wander off into nature to places where someone may or may not have ever have been before.
I miss it in an aching way when I go too long without it.
I still have 7 states to see. I won't get the chance this summer due to visiting folks (not that I'm bitching, again I love to see friends!). Maybe in spring?
New countries right now are right out. Short of another cruise soon I'll not see any more of the nearby countries and my lease keeps me from picking up and moving back to Europe or to Thailand to start my language classes there early.
It was wonderful to get back to H'Port, NY before and after Camp for a bit. Nice to see my family, but that's not the main reason. It didn't satisfy any of my wanderlust, but it did return me to one of my favorite places.
Some areas of the planet just make me feel good. Something about the energy of them... regardless of their physical beauty or human options... the Finger Lakes Region of NY, London, and Prague.
I'm quite sickly enamored with these three places. I go there and feel more alive, more whole, more blissful than anywhere else and for no clear reason. Now, each is wonderful in their own obvious way but that isn't, I repeat again "isn't", why.
Venice is beautiful, as much and more than any movie or picture make it seem. It has a richness and quaintness, both, that is endearing... but it doesn't do it to me. Heidelberg and Mannheim will be places I love and remember intensely but they don't cause that. Alaska may be one of the most awe-inspiring places I've ever been, landscape-wise... but I don't feel giddy with no basis while there.
I could go on but I've overstated my point already. I've been great places, I want and need to go more great places, and some places are greater than they have any clear cause to be and I'm blessed to get to return now and then.
But damn am I in category Two desire mode right now. Must. Go. Somewhere. New.
Maybe in September I could go to the Dakotas. Doubt it. Damn I have to wait to see things til next year.
My lease is up in February... maybe I'll move somewhere interesting then. Chael will be deployed until sometime between August 2010 and January 2011. Depending, that may be some time in Spain or Scotland for me... maybe get a little apt. back in Mannheim, visit Sandra and start hopping all over Eastern Europe this time instead of Western.
I gotta go somewhere.
Back to refreshing my German and working on my Spanish & Thai. But which Spanish to focus on? Latin or Castillian? And should I settle with only being able to read and understand Thai or should I fork out the cash to practice my speech now instead of waiting a few years when I can go there to get tutoring?
I can't believe I haven't learned some form of Spanish yet. A bit of each but no fluency yet. It's a darn easy language. Just sad.
I admit it, I'm bad at latin-based languages. Spent 4 years in French and can't speak any more than I went in with. Germanic languages -and even the Thai!- go faster by far for me. What the hell? Totally backwards.
I'm rambling.
Just another quiet night with me and my cat hanging out in the house.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Picture update from CampCrucible post earlier
Arm staples one by PermanentStudent & back done by Dottie:
Some of the back ones have come a bit loose (and one is half-way pulled out) in my sleep, so Chael will be removing them all for me tonight.
Some of the back ones have come a bit loose (and one is half-way pulled out) in my sleep, so Chael will be removing them all for me tonight.
Divorce thoughts (in general)
Not about my marriage, but about the subject of divorce, over all.
Am I really the only person on this planet that sees the high divorce rate as a GOOD thing?
People didn't stay together when they couldn't divorce because they wanted to, but because they couldn't get a divorce... so -like many of the non-divorced today still- they live in misery, boredom, loathing; through abuse, sexual and emotional mismatching and unhappiness, wrong choices and even drunk nights in Vegas.
Or, again as with many today still, they lived unmarried while stuck legally bound... cheating, separation, more abuse, etc. and on some rare occasions a happy, keep-it-from-the-neighbors, understanding.
Now, divorce is available and easier to get. People who should've never married can correct it. People who have grown to hate one another can step away and make happier lives. Abused men and women can leave and seek healthier options alone or with new partners.
Miserable togetherness can be ended legally with full individual rights restored.
Marriage shouldn't be a trap one is caught in. If the paperwork is the only reason one is staying then, IMO, it's not a marriage in the meaningful sense anyways. The people are ALREADY divorced, they're just locked in a legal cage with one another.
Divorce and the availability of it and the fact that people are making use of it, are beautiful, happy, healthy things.
Does one hope that a relationship is healthy, happy, and lasting in it's goodness? Surely! But those aren't where divorce happens. People don't say "things are great! let's end it!". Legal divorce happens AFTER the marriage is dead and gone, even if one half refuses to acknowledge it yet.
Death of the goodness of a relationship is a sadness, being able to leave when that occurs and there is no resuscitation possible is a joyful option.
Just had to get that out after reading another rant about "sanctity of marriage" and the divorce rate.
Am I really the only person on this planet that sees the high divorce rate as a GOOD thing?
People didn't stay together when they couldn't divorce because they wanted to, but because they couldn't get a divorce... so -like many of the non-divorced today still- they live in misery, boredom, loathing; through abuse, sexual and emotional mismatching and unhappiness, wrong choices and even drunk nights in Vegas.
Or, again as with many today still, they lived unmarried while stuck legally bound... cheating, separation, more abuse, etc. and on some rare occasions a happy, keep-it-from-the-neighbors, understanding.
Now, divorce is available and easier to get. People who should've never married can correct it. People who have grown to hate one another can step away and make happier lives. Abused men and women can leave and seek healthier options alone or with new partners.
Miserable togetherness can be ended legally with full individual rights restored.
Marriage shouldn't be a trap one is caught in. If the paperwork is the only reason one is staying then, IMO, it's not a marriage in the meaningful sense anyways. The people are ALREADY divorced, they're just locked in a legal cage with one another.
Divorce and the availability of it and the fact that people are making use of it, are beautiful, happy, healthy things.
Does one hope that a relationship is healthy, happy, and lasting in it's goodness? Surely! But those aren't where divorce happens. People don't say "things are great! let's end it!". Legal divorce happens AFTER the marriage is dead and gone, even if one half refuses to acknowledge it yet.
Death of the goodness of a relationship is a sadness, being able to leave when that occurs and there is no resuscitation possible is a joyful option.
Just had to get that out after reading another rant about "sanctity of marriage" and the divorce rate.
Late night thoughts on me
Specifically, on my quietness.
I'm very introverted. Extremely.
This at times throws people, as I'm not a chatterer unless I'm gotten going on a subject. I tend to pre-think what I say and not say much in my responses. I also tend to dodge questions until I've had time to think of the answers a bit.
I worry some, while accepting me for how I am largely, about how uncomfortable this does make interacting with me for some. I worry that I come across as distant or rude... or worse, for my immense ego, dull or stupid.
I'm careful in my handling of others in this and other ways. Tremendously careful in most things, because I tend, despite my introversion, to be extremely intense and overly passionate about the things and people I care about.
So this leads me to being even more quiet and introverted in functioning as I pre-think more to avoid overwhelming others, as I'm prone to, and round and round I go.
The inner-living I do pushes me to being too intense when I let myself free a bit with folks which pushes me to more careful inner-living to avoid this flaw which pushes me to...
These thoughts aren't to be taken as a negative session about me. I like me. A lot. In fact, tremendously.
But I think taking a frank look at oneself now and then and reminding me about me is part of why that is so and in bettering my interactions with others.
I do care about making others uncomfortable and hope to get better at the middle ground and stepping a bit more out of my habits -okay, that's not true... I don't want to change my introversion level at all (as said, I like me and my ways) but if I temper this aspect so as to not make others "pull teeth" (lol) I'd be pleased.
It's never good to make unsettled those you like, unless it's intentional.
On other thoughts, I need violent sex. Not just playful, fun, pushy or such... violent. Slaps and push and pain that leaves one giddy afterward. But that is a topic for other entries.
I'm very introverted. Extremely.
This at times throws people, as I'm not a chatterer unless I'm gotten going on a subject. I tend to pre-think what I say and not say much in my responses. I also tend to dodge questions until I've had time to think of the answers a bit.
I worry some, while accepting me for how I am largely, about how uncomfortable this does make interacting with me for some. I worry that I come across as distant or rude... or worse, for my immense ego, dull or stupid.
I'm careful in my handling of others in this and other ways. Tremendously careful in most things, because I tend, despite my introversion, to be extremely intense and overly passionate about the things and people I care about.
So this leads me to being even more quiet and introverted in functioning as I pre-think more to avoid overwhelming others, as I'm prone to, and round and round I go.
The inner-living I do pushes me to being too intense when I let myself free a bit with folks which pushes me to more careful inner-living to avoid this flaw which pushes me to...
These thoughts aren't to be taken as a negative session about me. I like me. A lot. In fact, tremendously.
But I think taking a frank look at oneself now and then and reminding me about me is part of why that is so and in bettering my interactions with others.
I do care about making others uncomfortable and hope to get better at the middle ground and stepping a bit more out of my habits -okay, that's not true... I don't want to change my introversion level at all (as said, I like me and my ways) but if I temper this aspect so as to not make others "pull teeth" (lol) I'd be pleased.
It's never good to make unsettled those you like, unless it's intentional.
On other thoughts, I need violent sex. Not just playful, fun, pushy or such... violent. Slaps and push and pain that leaves one giddy afterward. But that is a topic for other entries.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
CampCrucible
Wow, what a weekend! I'd a great time.
My friends Nugget & Lady Sondra, from the AIRS Augusta, GA group I was in before, clued me into Camp a while back just before I left for Texas. I thought it sounded fun and wanted to see old friends again so I decided to sign up and go.
Am so glad I did.
I got to see them a few times for both lovely and silly stuff. Among just friendly chatting and retouching:
He gave me a massage my first day out in the sun and shade and breezes. It was heavenly. He's very good at massage, as I know, and it's always a sweetness... but out with people moving around you, the sounds of folks nearby and some playing, sunshine warm and shade cool, the air shifting over my naked skin, and that touch of exhibition fun in it made it so much more. It was the perfect start.
I did my first pony cart ride with Nugget pulling after he'd given me a short instructional. I've little experience with horse riding or "steering", so I was nervous. It went awesome! Being in the cart as it's pulled has the scariness of canoeing -that shaky looseness of feeling- but the control and slight absurdity of it all was exhilarating! The guiding felt much as the few times I've been on a horse, quite real, and it was wonderful getting this new experience with an old friend. Big smiles!
I watched Sondra and he in the pony show do a very cute and funny musical skit with my new friend PermanentStudent and laughed and clapped. Another round of smiles, this one on the 3rd day.
Sondra was a sweety -as always!- and offered Nugget for a scene to me, but I was mianly in bottoming headspace most of that day so it didn't happen. I consider it a missed opportunity since we all live so far away now (Nugget was in service to me for a short period before and we had a couple fun scenes back in Augusta).
Roommates were very nice people and the cabin atmosphere was just what I'd hoped. Quite and safe to leave stuff out with no worries, considerate folks, and way more space than people. Two couples (JscRashad & Kestra and MrWest & Mrs West) and one single besides me (PermanentStudent). Started with quiet hellos and ended with everyone on B.S.'ing terms and better by the end.
PermanentStudent and I hit it off quite well and he ended up being (what I mentally called) my CasualCampBoyfriend lol. Someone cool I felt like both holding hands with and high-fiving when he reported getting some good play somewhere. We started hanging out after switching off tying each other in a bondage class and then exchanged staples in Dottie's sharps class, then exchanging beatings (my bum one night, his back the next) and generally just bummed around together when free. Oh, and let's not forget a laughing highlight of my trip: getting spanked in a pool lol. I was surprised at feeling both sides of switching with him, there's only one other person I "go both ways" with. Everyone else is one pole or the other, strictly.
He seemed not to mind my natural quietness (unlike poor MrWest, who felt trying to get me to talk was "like pulling teeth" hahaha!) and he was just plain comfortable to be around... like an old friend one runs into new. God help him, though, someday when I'm in a talkative mode.
Was "virgin sacrificed" as a newbie to camp. Got naked in front of the crowd watching and got fake blood poured down me after camp staff tried to scare us about what was going to happen. Not effectively, at least not me and a couple others, but it was atmosphere. In fact, Quin boning military for it made me more nervous than anything else... I still get upset easy if/when folks approach me military like that due to some things that happened while in, so I was tense watching that I showed no stress from that. Would've been embarrassing to end up upset and have people think it was over sacrifice! LOL! But they toned it down and I got coated in that fake blood and all was sticky, messy wellness. I felt like grinning, and did, walking back to my cabin with clothes in hand held out from my sticky red body.
Speaking of sticky bodies: chocolate pudding "wrestling". It was more just a roll-in-the-pudding-en-masse thing than actually wrestling. We all just bathed in it. Call it 7-12 people in a blowup kiddy pool covered in chocolate. Slip, slide and squish. I had it everywhere, as did everyone. Had to be hosed down with freezing water before I could get a proper shower to get clean.
God, I so hope to do that again sometime.
I saw a crucifixion and didn't pass out or even get dizzy. That's a big deal for me! I had a hard time at the needleplay demo even though I have no issues when *I* put needles into someone...watching is hard. But the crucifixion wasn't bad. Extreme but easy to watch -except I felt bad for the woman pounding the nails in, she had a hell of a time emotionally before and after, understandably. During the hanging I went up and touched him to feel the energy coming off and it was impressive. Warm and throbbing down through the and and over the forearm, sinking into my own body. We all shared a closeness of pain for a time there.
I watched a guy get held down and dressed as a girl and diapered, a man have his scrotal fluid drip out from needle play, and saw beautifully stretched outer labia on one woman. I doubt I could do that, but it tempted me it was so striking looking.
God, what else? Sooooo much in those few days.
Got to drive a golf cart around as taxi duty. Fun :D
Piled in a cuddle pit with a bunch of littles and non-littles, playing with glowsticks and getting wrapped up in two guyfriends and a cute girl for a bit.
Oh, also, laid out in the shade in my undies and read a book and chatted with two friends for a bit. That was another relaxing time.
Next year I'm coming on Thursday instead of Friday.
I'm sure I'll think of and add other things over the next few days. There is just too much right now.
Oh, and pics of my back corset (done by the sweetheart Dottie) and my arm corset (done by the sweetheart PermanentStudent) will be added soon once I'm home and it's easier to post things.
My friends Nugget & Lady Sondra, from the AIRS Augusta, GA group I was in before, clued me into Camp a while back just before I left for Texas. I thought it sounded fun and wanted to see old friends again so I decided to sign up and go.
Am so glad I did.
I got to see them a few times for both lovely and silly stuff. Among just friendly chatting and retouching:
He gave me a massage my first day out in the sun and shade and breezes. It was heavenly. He's very good at massage, as I know, and it's always a sweetness... but out with people moving around you, the sounds of folks nearby and some playing, sunshine warm and shade cool, the air shifting over my naked skin, and that touch of exhibition fun in it made it so much more. It was the perfect start.
I did my first pony cart ride with Nugget pulling after he'd given me a short instructional. I've little experience with horse riding or "steering", so I was nervous. It went awesome! Being in the cart as it's pulled has the scariness of canoeing -that shaky looseness of feeling- but the control and slight absurdity of it all was exhilarating! The guiding felt much as the few times I've been on a horse, quite real, and it was wonderful getting this new experience with an old friend. Big smiles!
I watched Sondra and he in the pony show do a very cute and funny musical skit with my new friend PermanentStudent and laughed and clapped. Another round of smiles, this one on the 3rd day.
Sondra was a sweety -as always!- and offered Nugget for a scene to me, but I was mianly in bottoming headspace most of that day so it didn't happen. I consider it a missed opportunity since we all live so far away now (Nugget was in service to me for a short period before and we had a couple fun scenes back in Augusta).
Roommates were very nice people and the cabin atmosphere was just what I'd hoped. Quite and safe to leave stuff out with no worries, considerate folks, and way more space than people. Two couples (JscRashad & Kestra and MrWest & Mrs West) and one single besides me (PermanentStudent). Started with quiet hellos and ended with everyone on B.S.'ing terms and better by the end.
PermanentStudent and I hit it off quite well and he ended up being (what I mentally called) my CasualCampBoyfriend lol. Someone cool I felt like both holding hands with and high-fiving when he reported getting some good play somewhere. We started hanging out after switching off tying each other in a bondage class and then exchanged staples in Dottie's sharps class, then exchanging beatings (my bum one night, his back the next) and generally just bummed around together when free. Oh, and let's not forget a laughing highlight of my trip: getting spanked in a pool lol. I was surprised at feeling both sides of switching with him, there's only one other person I "go both ways" with. Everyone else is one pole or the other, strictly.
He seemed not to mind my natural quietness (unlike poor MrWest, who felt trying to get me to talk was "like pulling teeth" hahaha!) and he was just plain comfortable to be around... like an old friend one runs into new. God help him, though, someday when I'm in a talkative mode.
Was "virgin sacrificed" as a newbie to camp. Got naked in front of the crowd watching and got fake blood poured down me after camp staff tried to scare us about what was going to happen. Not effectively, at least not me and a couple others, but it was atmosphere. In fact, Quin boning military for it made me more nervous than anything else... I still get upset easy if/when folks approach me military like that due to some things that happened while in, so I was tense watching that I showed no stress from that. Would've been embarrassing to end up upset and have people think it was over sacrifice! LOL! But they toned it down and I got coated in that fake blood and all was sticky, messy wellness. I felt like grinning, and did, walking back to my cabin with clothes in hand held out from my sticky red body.
Speaking of sticky bodies: chocolate pudding "wrestling". It was more just a roll-in-the-pudding-en-masse thing than actually wrestling. We all just bathed in it. Call it 7-12 people in a blowup kiddy pool covered in chocolate. Slip, slide and squish. I had it everywhere, as did everyone. Had to be hosed down with freezing water before I could get a proper shower to get clean.
God, I so hope to do that again sometime.
I saw a crucifixion and didn't pass out or even get dizzy. That's a big deal for me! I had a hard time at the needleplay demo even though I have no issues when *I* put needles into someone...watching is hard. But the crucifixion wasn't bad. Extreme but easy to watch -except I felt bad for the woman pounding the nails in, she had a hell of a time emotionally before and after, understandably. During the hanging I went up and touched him to feel the energy coming off and it was impressive. Warm and throbbing down through the and and over the forearm, sinking into my own body. We all shared a closeness of pain for a time there.
I watched a guy get held down and dressed as a girl and diapered, a man have his scrotal fluid drip out from needle play, and saw beautifully stretched outer labia on one woman. I doubt I could do that, but it tempted me it was so striking looking.
God, what else? Sooooo much in those few days.
Got to drive a golf cart around as taxi duty. Fun :D
Piled in a cuddle pit with a bunch of littles and non-littles, playing with glowsticks and getting wrapped up in two guyfriends and a cute girl for a bit.
Oh, also, laid out in the shade in my undies and read a book and chatted with two friends for a bit. That was another relaxing time.
Next year I'm coming on Thursday instead of Friday.
I'm sure I'll think of and add other things over the next few days. There is just too much right now.
Oh, and pics of my back corset (done by the sweetheart Dottie) and my arm corset (done by the sweetheart PermanentStudent) will be added soon once I'm home and it's easier to post things.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Randomness
Did some more cutting and piercing on Chael the other night. Was fun! I had a great time.
Also, at vendor fair Saturday I got a great black w/ white polka dots skirt and shirt combo.
Jonesy cat isn't doing great. He is eating too little. Otherwise seems fine but tired.
Turns out he likes his climber thing I got him. When I've come home lately he's been seen climbing out of its hidey-hole.
Trying to take care of things here. Put up conduit so that cords aren't hanging ugly. Looks good. Got a few more boxes dealt with. Wine fridge now and it's almost full.
Also, at vendor fair Saturday I got a great black w/ white polka dots skirt and shirt combo.
Jonesy cat isn't doing great. He is eating too little. Otherwise seems fine but tired.
Turns out he likes his climber thing I got him. When I've come home lately he's been seen climbing out of its hidey-hole.
Trying to take care of things here. Put up conduit so that cords aren't hanging ugly. Looks good. Got a few more boxes dealt with. Wine fridge now and it's almost full.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Firewalking
I walked on hot coals last night. That's a blurry pic of me, there. Also broke a board with my hand, snapped an arrow against my neck, and walked on broken glass.
Firewalk was hot, as you'd expect, and my feet felt it... got about 5 tiny (1/8" size) blisters on my feet by the time I'd drove home that were gone by this morning.
Good times, good times.
Jonesy hasn't been doing great since Pixel died. In one month between vet visits he's lost a little more than a pound and his kidney function has decreased in health. I have to shove an appetite stimulant down him every 3 days (was doing that already during this past month per vet's orders) and also give him sub-cutaneous fluids every 2 days. Thankfully, he's such a lovey that he doesn't hold much of a grudge on any of this. He's liking me again in just a couple minutes -in fact, laid there really well during the latest sub-cu today.
I hope it's all enough to keep him healthy for a long time, but I'm worried. His kidneys are a real concern.
-RP
Friday, February 27, 2009
Pixel-cat
Pixel had to be put down last Monday due to enterring shutdown (heart, pancreas, and kidneys) due to FeLV that we didn't know he had until a short bit before it was done. That is what the previous post's pictures are from: my & Chael's last visit with him before the doc came in to do it.
He'd only been obviously I'll since the day before, it was very sudden.
During those last minutes his head cleared enough to know us; he purred as best he could to our petting and words (he was on oxygen with pulmonary edema). When they started the 2 injections he gave one meow as the anesthesia took hold and we continued to pet and talk to him until the doc let us know the second injection had stopped his heart. Then we stayed a while longer with him before releasing him for cremation.
It was, and is still, very hard.
Wednesday we picked up his ashes and got Jonesy screened for FeLV. Jonesy is neg, thank god. We then got a little shelf for Pixel's remains and his toy piggy to sit on until we figure out what to do with him.
Bad week.
He'd only been obviously I'll since the day before, it was very sudden.
During those last minutes his head cleared enough to know us; he purred as best he could to our petting and words (he was on oxygen with pulmonary edema). When they started the 2 injections he gave one meow as the anesthesia took hold and we continued to pet and talk to him until the doc let us know the second injection had stopped his heart. Then we stayed a while longer with him before releasing him for cremation.
It was, and is still, very hard.
Wednesday we picked up his ashes and got Jonesy screened for FeLV. Jonesy is neg, thank god. We then got a little shelf for Pixel's remains and his toy piggy to sit on until we figure out what to do with him.
Bad week.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Griping
Note to that person on my mind:
The exchange tonight through a third party was just about the last straw. We'd only just started a friendship, but I thought we were both older and more mature than how this has turned lately. I just don't have the time in my life for this sort of nonsense.
The exchange tonight through a third party was just about the last straw. We'd only just started a friendship, but I thought we were both older and more mature than how this has turned lately. I just don't have the time in my life for this sort of nonsense.
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