Late night thoughts on me

Specifically, on my quietness.

I'm very introverted. Extremely.

This at times throws people, as I'm not a chatterer unless I'm gotten going on a subject. I tend to pre-think what I say and not say much in my responses. I also tend to dodge questions until I've had time to think of the answers a bit.

I worry some, while accepting me for how I am largely, about how uncomfortable this does make interacting with me for some. I worry that I come across as distant or rude... or worse, for my immense ego, dull or stupid.

I'm careful in my handling of others in this and other ways. Tremendously careful in most things, because I tend, despite my introversion, to be extremely intense and overly passionate about the things and people I care about.

So this leads me to being even more quiet and introverted in functioning as I pre-think more to avoid overwhelming others, as I'm prone to, and round and round I go.

The inner-living I do pushes me to being too intense when I let myself free a bit with folks which pushes me to more careful inner-living to avoid this flaw which pushes me to...

These thoughts aren't to be taken as a negative session about me. I like me. A lot. In fact, tremendously.

But I think taking a frank look at oneself now and then and reminding me about me is part of why that is so and in bettering my interactions with others.

I do care about making others uncomfortable and hope to get better at the middle ground and stepping a bit more out of my habits -okay, that's not true... I don't want to change my introversion level at all (as said, I like me and my ways) but if I temper this aspect so as to not make others "pull teeth" (lol) I'd be pleased.

It's never good to make unsettled those you like, unless it's intentional.


On other thoughts, I need violent sex. Not just playful, fun, pushy or such... violent. Slaps and push and pain that leaves one giddy afterward. But that is a topic for other entries.