Feeling Down

I have a lot of conflicting things going on in my life right now that I don't feel comfortable talking about here. Not that all are negative, not at all, but rather that I have gone and gotten myself too full an emotional and time filled plate again.

I've been having fun with friends, looking forward to Chael coming home, avoiding loving some people, avoiding sex with others, giving myself "the horrids" over Chael coming home (worrying that since things have gone so well this deployment that now he's coming home something horrible will happen), crying in bed alone over military traumas, addressing a personality change that I'm only just becoming aware of and haven't decided my feelings on yet, planning how to deal with my mother's next little comment, being happy about how many want to play with me but also overwhelmed, planning a dallas-killeen-houston-killeen-dallas trip in combination with my spouse coming home, prepping emotionally for the fact that I have agreed to go to an Army mandatory-for-Chael ceremony which is sure to trigger me some on top of just plain being dull as fuck, noticing and stressing over a minor change in a friend's behavior, still haven't gone grocery shopping but should, and just generally making big things out of little things.

I'm leading into one of those personal implosions. Too many little things mixed with a few big things and I am starting to feel like just cancelling everything and hiding for a while.

But I have both small and large obligations to keep to. Bleh.

I'm sure you, the reader, have had plenty of these days. No one thing wrong, just too much (moostly good) things going on and stressing out.

Gonna text LadyHillary and see if she's working. I think she is, but if not maybe we'll hang out. I need some relax with relaxed friends time.