Still Waiting

Still no word on the move... it's been "we'll let you know next week" for months now. The NCO in charge is trying to get our fence lifted (what keeps Chael from getting reassigned and is holding this all up) but no luck so far.

I don't mind, even enjoy, moving... but this not knowing if or where is getting old.

Things here at home are good. Chael is getting more used to being home and, despite some minor sniffles and such, I've been pretty healthy lately over-all (well, except meds fun, but that isn't "sick" that's "meds").

Big change in my life coming up in 2-4 weeks:

I ordered a bed.

I haven't slept in a bed regularly in 12 years. Haven't owned one. Chael and I both sleep on the floor.

It's become part of my identity, this manner of living and it's something I've slowly been altering lately. I bought my first ever couch last year, this year it's a bed.

I feel like I'm devolving. Becoming plush and soft and materialistic. I don't want that.

I have the opposing traits of being a collector and deeply valuing the ascetic lifestyle (that is part of my veganhood, my bdsm practice, how I didn't have tv for 10 years -another thing I got a year ago for the first time, etc). I'm a mix of these two things and they war inside and outside me in my life.

I have 225 eyeshadows but for the past 12 years have slept on the floor for comfort and spirituality sake.

Now I'm getting a bed and I am excited and disappointed in me at the same time.

I'm trying to balance these views in me about this and do have to admit that the bed isn't fully a matter of extravagance; I have a hiatal hernia and bad acid reflux that meds only minorly help. I also have migraines where the only help is a very specific knees-up sleeping position.

The bed I am getting is an adjustable bed which will combat the vomiting in my sleep and migraine pain, as well as hopefully avoiding my knees locking up at night as often.

So, it is useful as well as luxury... but the luxury side still pains me some. This isn't another cheap set of earrings or a $2 nailpolish, this is a large, expensive, luxury item that changes my whole life in some ways... and certainly part of my identity.

I just want to be excited while not getting too unhealthily tied up in the luxury of a bed and the materialism it represents.

I doubt this makes much sense to others as to others a bed is a normal thing. :/ But let's just leave it that this is a big moral deal for me.

First class, sherry, fw

Am at dfw airport killing time til boarding a flight to NJ for Floating World where I'll see Patrick and other friends.

I got a cheap upgrade to first class and checked both my bags cuz it was free this time (had small backpack with me I was going to take as carry-on).

Then, on going to my flight I found a wine bar that sold La Bodega de Mitchell sherry (heavenly pralines-and-cream flavor) and sat for a glass.

15 minutes til they're supposed to start boarding. Hate waiting. But the flight is only 3 hours and I'm sure to sleep through most of it. Then Patrick picks me up and we grab grub on way to the event.

Waiting.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Unnamed Rd,Grapevine,United States

Chael/Grey and slavery

I called him today and said "I know you hate the word but I'm going to use it right now because of what I want to say.... I think you're a really good slave".

He replied, "I think so, too".

squee.

13 years of being a slave to me but hating the words "submissive" and "slave" and last month he acknowledged being submissive to me. Today he accepted the word "slave" as applied to him and took some pride in it.

I love the changes he's making in this and being able to talk about them more than vaguely (I was always vague and used different wording out of respect for his feelings... I didn't care what words we used so long as the relationship was what I wanted).

He always and continues to make me so proud.

Austin if not moving, then moving

We still have no word on when/whether we're doing a full PCS move in the next month, sigh. If we do, we could go anywhere in a very short amount of time.

If we don't move for some reason, then Chael and I are leaning towards me moving to Austin so that we're closer (and I get to nom on the awesome vegan food there). I want to stay in a city but want to be closer to him.

This means more distance between friends I care a lot about, but I could still visit them. I'll work out some schedule with them that I can maybe come stay a couple days here and there. We'll see what works for them.

I found some really nice apartments online for Austin, so am kinda excited about that. We'll see what they *actually* look like on visiting sometime.

Done

My friendship and relationships with Hillary and Scott are done. I'm not even angry or sad, just done. A bit relieved in some ways as it was becoming too drama filled for my tastes.

I tried today to do the right thing and return some of their sheets they left here and the mattress their friend Brian had loaned me through them, but even though Scott's car was there no one answered the door.

On other things, someone broke into Chael's GA house and we need to go later this month sometime to fix a bunch of things wrong... the door itself, the A/C unit to the central air that got stolen, the keyless lock on the garage door, etc.

I'm going to Floating World in about a week and a half and will see Patrick and others from Camp. Should be awesome fun. The classes look really good and some are by familiar faces, plus Fakir Musafar will be there doing a couple and a speaking bit on his life. Interesting.

So life is pretty good, despite some changes and the house nonsense. We'll take care of it and it'll be fine.

I'm feeling pretty good for me right now.