Poly-snobbery

"Polyamory" is not only "polyfidelity". "Sex" is only rarely "just sex".

I'm becoming sick to death of the mono-normist poly-snobbery where polyamory is solely defined as polyfidelity, tied almost always with the statement that X example isn't poly because poly is about LOVE not "just sex".

Example X is almost always any form of poly relationship that is not multi-person-monogamous, aka "polyfidelic".

One (or more) person in the group wants to date/sleep with others, in any way or arrangement? "That's not POLY!! POLY is about love. Poly = many!!!! Amory = love!!!! That's a (giving a dirty tone) swinging/open."

Of course, always avoiding that the definition of amor/love includes both the meanings of non-sexual and sexual caring/attraction. Of course, always avoiding that example X rarely, rarely, rarely, is about one (or more) parties wanting/having "just sex"... 99.9% of the time it's about them wanting to have other relationships, including the sexual aspects of them. And, of course, always avoiding that even when "sex is just sex" it's rarely "just sex".

It's really about a knee-jerk, sex-is-bad/dirty, we're-really-just-the-same-as-mono-people act of snobbery and insecurity.

Now, don't misunderstand me. I don't have any problem at all with those who prefer and choose polyfidelic relationships. Not in the slightest, I'm not running down that relationship choice.

My issue is taking a valid relationship choice of a TYPE of polyamory and holding it up as the standard and definer for ALL types of poly relationships.

Get over your mono-normist mindset and your snobbery. Poly isn't just closed poly, that's just one form of loving many.