Motivation

I spent the past two weeks or so with no motivation to workout and eat right. I kept doing it because I have to, but I sure wasn't feeling it. Every trip to the gym was dragging myself. I was doing the minimum I had to. As of yesterday I'm feeling more alive again and back to being motivated in my eating and exercise, thank goodness! Did 3 hours of exercise yesterday and am doing 2 hours today. I've, with my doc's permission, upped my eating from 2 meals a day to sometimes having 3 so that I can better get my protein in. I'm starting that today as my protein is low. I need an extra meal today to get it all in. My docs are pleased with my progress and exercise patterns, I've lost 118 pounds in about 6.5 months, and my labs are looking good. I lost 1.8lbs yesterday, breaking a stall I've been in. I'm so glad I'm no longer dragging myself around to workout and eat well. It was really bothersome for a few weeks there.

Open to a slave

Ive been a while without a slave or domestic. I have my Chael but that is more d/s and service inside a romantic relationship.

I miss owning someone. I miss objectifying, humiliating, controlling. I miss being served in the many ways Chael doesn't. I miss a worshipful treatment.

So, once again I've opened myself up to having a slave. I'm talking to people in NYC to find someone compatible.

I'm also very excited to be making the move there. I keep googling more info and asking folks questions.

Chael is still getting his retirement paperwork together. It should be ready by Friday.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Unable to relate

I find myself really unable to relate to others who have had WLS. Online or in-person support groups just leave me frustrated and somewhat isolated feeling... They basically all come down to "When can I cheat on my diet?", "I have cheated on my diet and it went like this", "I am mourning food so bad!". I was never a food addict, I WANT to stay on my doc's plan, I'm getting good results and have never felt regret about my decision. I really can't understand someone choosing this option and then asking, "when can I eat donuts again?". wtf? Not to mention, I just went to an on-post support group and the topic of me not being able to take protein shakes anymore by doc's order came up... and the nurse/doc running the group told me, "well, you *can do* anything you want". Again wtf?! No I can't, not if I'm going to follow my doctor's plan. Why would she basically tell me it's okay to cheat?? jesus. I just don't get it. I can't relate to these people. As said, it's frustrating and isolating. Why don't they just do what their doctors' say? On a different note, I'm at an even 200 lbs today. It's taunting me. I'm so close to being in the 100s.

Back to working out

I got back to working out today after being off during my vacation. Started back with Zumba at my main gym.

My thoughts on it tonight:

"I can't say how much I enjoy working out now that I'm down 100 lbs. I move so much easier, am seeing progress from it, the regular pattern of it is a good steadiness for me, and afterwards I feel I've accomplished something.

I had a Great, pushing-myself, sweaty and fun Zumba class today. Tomorrow it's either Sh'Bam or BodyCombat... Maybe both if I'm feeling saucy."


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

102 gone

As of mid-week last week I've lost 102 lbs -that was my doc's six month goal for me and I made it in 5. Yay! I spent time visiting my mom and friends and didn't get any exercise for two weeks. Tonight I start back with Zumba at my main gym. Time to get back into it and get the scales moving better, as they've slowed down this month. So far everything is going great. I'm having a hard time with my protein, though. I can't eat enough lately to get the full 50g in. Yesterday I made about 17. Other than jerky I just don't have anything high enough protein to bump it up well, and I'm so fucking sick of jerky after living off it for most of the time I was in NY. I found out I'd been tracking my tvp grams wrong... I thought 1/4 cup was about 12 grams -well, that's 1/4 cup DRY, not WET; so when I eat a quarter cup I'm only getting about 6 grams in. Dammit. So kielbasa will be my main protein source for a while. I can eat half to a whole of each of those and a whole one is 23g of protein. But, as far as I'm FEELING at this point, I'm feeling great. No issues with the bypass so far! I'm also wondering at how much plastic surgery I'll really be needing when done... I've lost 102lbs and am not having a lot of loose skin issues yet. Hopefully this will continue to be the case. Still 70 lbs left to go.