Still Waiting

Still no word on the move... it's been "we'll let you know next week" for months now. The NCO in charge is trying to get our fence lifted (what keeps Chael from getting reassigned and is holding this all up) but no luck so far.

I don't mind, even enjoy, moving... but this not knowing if or where is getting old.

Things here at home are good. Chael is getting more used to being home and, despite some minor sniffles and such, I've been pretty healthy lately over-all (well, except meds fun, but that isn't "sick" that's "meds").

Big change in my life coming up in 2-4 weeks:

I ordered a bed.

I haven't slept in a bed regularly in 12 years. Haven't owned one. Chael and I both sleep on the floor.

It's become part of my identity, this manner of living and it's something I've slowly been altering lately. I bought my first ever couch last year, this year it's a bed.

I feel like I'm devolving. Becoming plush and soft and materialistic. I don't want that.

I have the opposing traits of being a collector and deeply valuing the ascetic lifestyle (that is part of my veganhood, my bdsm practice, how I didn't have tv for 10 years -another thing I got a year ago for the first time, etc). I'm a mix of these two things and they war inside and outside me in my life.

I have 225 eyeshadows but for the past 12 years have slept on the floor for comfort and spirituality sake.

Now I'm getting a bed and I am excited and disappointed in me at the same time.

I'm trying to balance these views in me about this and do have to admit that the bed isn't fully a matter of extravagance; I have a hiatal hernia and bad acid reflux that meds only minorly help. I also have migraines where the only help is a very specific knees-up sleeping position.

The bed I am getting is an adjustable bed which will combat the vomiting in my sleep and migraine pain, as well as hopefully avoiding my knees locking up at night as often.

So, it is useful as well as luxury... but the luxury side still pains me some. This isn't another cheap set of earrings or a $2 nailpolish, this is a large, expensive, luxury item that changes my whole life in some ways... and certainly part of my identity.

I just want to be excited while not getting too unhealthily tied up in the luxury of a bed and the materialism it represents.

I doubt this makes much sense to others as to others a bed is a normal thing. :/ But let's just leave it that this is a big moral deal for me.